Finding Joy with Chronic Pain
Finding Joy with the Pain: How ACT can help with chronic pain
One of the things I appreciate most about Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is the idea that suffering is a part of life. ACT doesn’t try to sugarcoat things or pretend that everything can be fixed with a positive attitude. Instead, it invites us to acknowledge pain—and still live a meaningful life with the pain.
Of course, we do what we can to reduce our suffering. No one wants to feel pain. Pain is also normal, and fighting against it constantly can sometimes make things worse.
Earlier this summer, I refreshed my understanding of ACT by taking an online course with Dr. Richard Sears. One simple but powerful idea from the course stuck with me. He posed a question (I’m paraphrasing here):
Would you rather only suffer, or would you rather suffer and experience joy?
That question has stayed with me—especially while struggling with chronic migraines. When a migraine hits, I always face a choice. Would I rather spend the day lying in a dark room, completely overwhelmed by the pain? Or would I prefer to still acknowledge the pain, but also try to engage in something that brings me joy or meaning?
Sometimes, the pain is just too much. And that’s okay. We to listen to our bodies (and our medical team) and rest when we need to. There’s no shame in pausing, slowing down, or doing nothing at all. Rest is part of healing.
But other times—especially when the pain is more manageable or when I start to feel a migraine aura coming on—I’ve learned that I can still make space for joy. That might mean doing something simple before it gets too intense, like going to the gym (more slowly than usually), taking a short walk, or watching our children play sports (ideally a quieter sport on those days!).
These small moments of connection and movement don’t erase the pain, but they do add richness to life. They remind us that we are more than our pain. I’m still a whole person, capable of experiencing joy, love, and purpose—even during tough times.
Living with chronic pain is hard. There’s no quick fix. But ACT gives us tools to help face it with honesty and flexibility. We don’t have to choose between pain or joy. We can allow both to exist at the same time—and keep moving toward the life we want to live.
Connect with me at Reverve Counselling and we’ll work together to find joy - even with the pain.
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