Anger is a Gift.
Do you struggle to feel anger? Or does anger hit you too quickly?
Many boys and men are often socialized to grow up expressing only two emotions: anger or happiness. But in reality, there's a wide range of emotions that are essential to our well-being. Basic emotions include joy, sadness, disgust, fear, surprise, and anger. More complex emotions like grief, envy, regret, love, embarrassment, jealousy, gratitude, guilt, pride, and worry are just as important.
Personally, I grew up with a tendency to suppress anger and mask discomfort with a smile. Over time, especially in middle age, this led to emotional challenges.
I remember seeing a therapist for symptoms of depression. One day, I expressed concern about experiencing anger. Her response was something like, “Fantastic!” That moment stuck with me. Since then, I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on the idea of “anger as a gift”.
There are two examples that come to mind when I think about anger in a positive light—as a force to fight oppression:
“Freedom” by Rage Against the Machine
Listen, read, or watch for the powerful line: “Anger is a gift.”A quote from Bob Mullaly’s book Challenging Oppression and Confronting Privilege
One chapter simply reads: “Freedom is a gift. Use it wisely.” That line has stayed with me.
Anger can be a powerful motivator. It can fuel advocacy, personal growth, and meaningful change. But it can also be misused—becoming controlling, explosive, or harmful to yourself and others.
If you're struggling to experience or express anger in healthy, constructive ways, connect with me at Reverve Counselling. Together, we can explore how to honor your anger—without letting it control you.
Written by Harold Pliszka, MSW, RSW