The Loneliness of the Nonprofit Leader

When I owned and led a for-profit company for 18 years, it was fine. I hired the people I wanted to work with, paid and treated them fairly, and together we ensured that clients were well-served. I don’t recall feeling particularly lonely, and I certainly wasn’t micromanaged—except by the kinds of clients I eventually learned to avoid. I was the sole shareholder, so the experience might be different for companies with multiple shareholders, a board of directors, or public reporting requirements for those on the stock market.

In contrast, I found nonprofit leadership to be much more isolating and lonely. I held a middle management role at a nonprofit focused on ending and preventing domestic violence. Part of my responsibility was to deepen trauma-informed practices—and we did. I worked hard to foster a healthy, non-toxic work environment so that front-line staff could do their best work while supporting survivors through extremely difficult experiences.

I began to apply trauma-informed care not only to the people we served but also to the staff who served them. But there didn’t seem to be anything similar for leaders. It felt like leaders were expected to always show strength, never revealing even the smallest crack of vulnerability.

Later, as an Executive Director with a large board of directors, I learned just how isolating leadership could be. Where do leaders go for support? For a time, I was part of a lovely, now-defunct group of nonprofit leaders who supported one another. For an even shorter time, I benefited from a six-session coaching program provided by volunteers through United Way. It was such a relief to have someone in my corner—someone who could listen, understand what I was going through, and collaborate with me to find a way forward with clarity and boldness.

I set a goal to help transform nonprofit leadership into a more caring, supportive form of leadership—and I still have that goal.

So, if you're feeling lonely or simply seeking confidential support in your leadership journey—support that allows you to be the genuine leader you are (or aspire to be)—reach out  to Reverve for leadership coaching services. Let’s start working together.

Written by Harold Pliszka, MSW, RSW

P.S. The title of this article is a riff on The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner, a movie and a song.